Turning cancer and sexual trauma into a force for good
Updated: May 1, 2019
Shani Enns suffered long-term sexual abuse, ovarian cancer, uterine cancer, early menopause, heart disease, partial mastectomy, and suicidal depression. In this blog, she shares her raw and inspiring journey on how she overcame adversity and is now helping others to heal from trauma, using love as a catalyst.
The body remembers everything. Sexual abuse started for me in infancy. I started having flashbacks in my late 20's and had no idea how to deal with it, and no support, so I pushed it down as best I could.
Within a few months, I had a tumour the size of a grapefruit on my ovary, and a band of small tumours in my breast. I knew it was because I shoved the memories back down. My doctor said it was cancer. I was 27.
Because I was so young, the surgeon spared all the organs he could, hoping I'd go on to have a normal life. Sadly, my health spiralled from there with rapid weight gain, nearly constant bleeding, and suicidal depression. I tried and tried to find answers and get help. Some doctors would dismissively say I needed a hysterectomy, and others would call me a hypochondriac.
Completely traumatised and demoralised, I finally stopped trying to get physical help, and focused on healing the trauma of abuse instead.
I met my husband when I was 14. Until I was out of my 25 year relationship with him, I didn't understand that not being allowed to say no to sex was rape. Not being allowed to say no the day after giving birth or having surgery was abuse. I never knew a different life, so I just didn't know. I was 39. At 41, the bleeding became worse, but I didn't have health insurance. I was turned away from medical care so often that I finally just laid on my bed while I was haemorrhaging like a faucet. I felt euphoric and nauseous. I couldn't think straight.
My 21 year old daughter found me, in the middle of her work day. She said she suddenly and overwhelmingly knew something was wrong.
The emergency room doctor thought I was on the verge of a heart attack from blood loss, and admitted me to cardiology right away. I pointed out that it wasn't my heart that was haemorrhaging, but he said without insurance, my heart was the only thing that would get me an admission.
It took another 2 months, but I finally got a diagnosis of uterine cancer as a result of being hospitalised for my heart. The gynaecologist admitted to being shocked, that she thought there was nothing wrong.
Trying to get cancer treatment without health insurance, as a single mom and small business owner, is a whole other world of trauma. But I'm here. I'm alive.
My early menopause has led to bone loss, resulting in a massive fracture at age 44, requiring 13 screws and a metal rod, to a partial mastectomy at 45, to early heart disease at 46, to chronic UTI's, to foggy memory, and bladder pain. I am 48.
New beginnings: glowing souls all around
Shani has taken radical steps to regain the best version of health she possibly can:
I've lost weight, reversed the heart disease, and am working on strengthening my bones.
Today, Shani is a full-time healer and spiritual coach:
I use a combination of energy healing, meditation, and spiritual coaching to help people create their own systems for establishing healthy boundaries and effective communication so self-worth flourishes, and personal empowerment floods in.
Shani explains that it's a process that heals trauma on a profound level without having to relive it. If you'd like support on your healing journey, claim your first Glowing Soul Session for FREE with Shani at Embracing Your Humanity.
Like rocket fuel for transformation, your session helps you change your experience of life. Love is a catalyst - let it shape your life.
Oh! Also, Shani offers a FREE self care module and meditation class that you can access at schoolofhealing.teachable.com Happy healing,